Listen: Expectations vs. Reality

Their needs are the reality, not your expectations.
Their needs are the reality, not your expectations.

This week I was messaging with two different coaches who tried to convince me I needed their services AND were not listening to my responses when they asked me questions. 
In fact, one #coach kept asking me the same questions two to three times. It’s as if she didn’t read my responses at all!

Do you think they made the sale each time?

Of course not. Why? They were trying to impose their expectations into the situation rather than being open to what was really happening around them.

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What was really happening here?

My intention with each conversation was actually trying to see how we can cross-promote each others’ work, because I love collaboration. I abandoned that idea pretty quickly though. Although both conversations were a bit annoying, I was actually grateful for them.

Because each was a great reminder of what NOT to do when speaking with prospective clients. 
According to Hubspot, “…the top ways to create a positive #sales experience, according to buyers:
Listen to their needs (69%)
Don’t be pushy (61%…”

What needed to happen?

Each of these coaches had obviously not learned that. When all we do is try to force a result, we are not only showing the Universe how much we need the sale, we are literally chasing #prospects away. 
How would you feel if someone were to talk to you this way? Has this ever happened to you?

#digitalmarketing #businesscoaching #goals #soulfulbusiness#healthywealthylife

14 thoughts on “Listen: Expectations vs. Reality”

  1. I guess the need to get business was more important to them than building a relationship first where both sides listened to each other to identify potential synergy, Genevieve. 🙂

    I had a messaging session start with someone from a Facebook Group on LinkedIn for potential synergy but the lady had not bothered to actually find out what I did although we could have collaborated.

    The deal breaker? She was busy holidaying, wanted to chat with me at 3 am my time in the morning and when I pointed it out, she apologized because she hadn’t realized I was based in India!

    Rule of thumb? Make sure there’s been enough social interaction before getting on any call to collaborate.


  2. Ding. Ding. Ding. I see this a lot in many businesses. It comes across as desperate and inauthentic. Thanks for sharing


  3. You’re most welcome Laura! It definitely does come across as desperate and inauthentic! Makes me want to head for the hills. Thanks for commenting.


  4. YES! We need social interaction first to get to know someone. This way we can avoid calling people at 3 am! When there is only the intention to make the sale, it completely leaves out the vital human factor. Thanks for your comment Vatsala!


  5. I have had this experience unfortunately. Many people who claim to be empathic are not good listeners. How can you help another if you do not know their true needs? Thanks for sharing Genevieve.


  6. People engage with people they know, like and trust. This leads to referrals. Any counselor needs to put the person first that they are there to support and doing this requires listening and not pushing for $$…


  7. Yes, I’m sure we have all experienced this at different times. It is a really good reminder of how important it is to be present and listen to the clients, that really is the bottom line. Nobody wants a pushy or slick salesperson, yuck! Authenticity and compassion are much more effective!


  8. They are more concerned about sales than the person and the transformation.
    It happens.alot when.our intentions are merely driven by sales and money.
    When we see past this we are able to listen.
    Thank you for sharing this insightful. Blog


  9. That’s a great point Leila, they are definitely more concerned about making sales. Not exactly an attractive feature in a business owner, I don’t think.
    Thanks for your comment.


  10. Exactly Kris, no one wants to be sold to. It is much more important to connect with people first. Then if we discover we can help them, great!
    I love what you said about authenticity and compassion. I couldn’t agree more with you!


  11. That is such an important point you made Debra. When people know, like and trust us, that’s where referrals come from and where we can connect with people AND help them. I was fortunate to have gotten a referral this week. I’d much rather make real connections than trying to”make the sale”!


  12. Thanks for your comment Lisa. It’s so true, I’ve heard some people claim to be empathic, but occasionally I come act someone who seems to only use that term as a catchphrase to try to make sales. It’s phony and certainly does not help anyone else’s needs to be met when they are not truly being heard.


  13. Exactly! Listen and don’t be pushy. I seriously dislike when people are pushy, it makes me uncomfortable and sometimes upset. I don’t know if people don’t realize that or just don’t care. Money is more important to them. I’d love to have more clients too but I would never push myself upon others or try to convince them that they NEED me. I know what I can offer and hope others can see that too. I am always open to conversations and answering question and concerns. I’ve always been that way. So many people now expect you to pay them before they even talk to you. Not everyone, but many. I too love collaborations but it seems that not many people are into that either that I have come across. So many people seem out for themselves. There is very poor communication and very poor teachings out there that I believe actually teach people to be pushy. It never works for me. It causes unnecessary negativity.


  14. I couldn’t agree more Heather! It seems that they are chasing money and that isn’t exactly a recipe for success. I think the way you approach it is healthier and more likely to help you in your business. The old ways of competition and pushiness do not work. Collaboration is something I love also, it is much more fun!


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